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Realtors Skeptical of Sentient “Self-Selling” Home

Jason Polancich Home Buyers Leave a Comment

Tuscaloosa, AL – In what is being described by many real estate brokers as a “blindside” to the local real estate market in the Tuscaloosa, a home in the Crown Pointe neighborhood became self-aware last Wednesday around 3:45 pm and promptly began marketing itself for sale in the local MLS, or Multiple Listing Service.

When interviewed the next day by local buyer’s agent Rebekah Polancich from Pritchett-Moore Tuscaloosa as she brought by a lovely couple from Dallas, TX looking for a gameday home, the house said, “It’s just time and I’m just sick of the current owners Jill and Tim, plus they’ve been ignoring simple, preventative maintenance for some time and I want a new family in here before the place gets run down.”

Calling itself “Todd,” the home went on to add that it has a very inviting feel, an in-law suite and amazing views of Lake Tuscaloosa.

When questioned by the couple about the price, the home bristled a bit, saying “Listen, you go find another home that can flush the toilets for you and scare away bears at night all on its own for only $899K and I’ll burn myself down and give you the insurance money.”

Dale and Edith, the lovely couple from Charlotte, passed on the home, but their agent Mrs. Polancich came away thinking the home would probably sell very quickly.

“The house is in a prime gated community with all the amenities,” said Polancich. “And with a home that can do everything from light its own fireplaces to delete a husband’s questionable browser history, it will appeal to professional buyers looking for a home that’s a conversation piece as well as a solid investment.”

That all said, Polancich did have concerns, especially with regard to so-called “buyer’s remorse” issues.

“With any home, you find all sorts of issues once you settle in and actually live there,” said Polancich. “What’s gonna happen when the owners start openly complaining? Are we talking Amityville kinda shenanigans here? If so, What happens when they try to sell? Talk about potential for a sabotaged showing? Not the kind of ‘days on market’ stats you want, I’ll tell you that right now!”

Many other local REALTORS® we spoke to who wouldn’t go on record had other, possibly even bigger concerns.

One agent – let’s call him “Dave” – asked, “How the hell do you title something like that? Is this some kinda weird ‘pur autre vie’ thing we have not seen before? I barely understand all those weird titles anyway and, you know, lawyers are expensive.”

It’s a great point, especially when it comes to equitable title or adverse possession issues that often arise in a residential real estate transaction.


All Joking Aside, Homes Don’t Sell Themselves

Listing, marketing and closing a deal to sell your home is hard, takes a lot of high-tech marketing and savvy advertising. Contact us today and we’ll handle it all for you like no other local real estate team can. Guaranteed.


Lake Tuscaloosa Real Estate

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